ST. ERASMO FINDS SALVATION ON THE ROAD TO ELECTIONS

By Juan Montoya
If you read the post by the Head Cheez Erasmo Castro at right written on March 29, you might think that the feisty, cantankerous writer hasn't embraced the Prince of Peace.
Yet, two days later, during Easter, his Cheezness suddenly found repentance and contrition and benevolently forgave those who trespass against him, namely nameless bloggers and the notorious Zeke (Silva, we assume) who uses a false page.
"I have some very hateful enemies," he laments as Steven did during the stoning by the nasty Jews near the temple. "The bloggers write horrible things about me, but the truth is that I have done nothing against any of  them...Zeke uses his fake page to post filthy things about me, but again, I have done nothing to warrant such perverse actions. I wish no one harm; even those individuals who have wronged me and have made horrible accusations against me, if they would ever be in need, I would help them as well...
"I pray for the forgiveness of my self-proclaimed enemies, Zeke, the bloggers, anyone who reserves hate towards me..."
The stuff, in short, was so schmaltzy that it made one want to run out to the nearest church and immerse oneself in holy water to attain the purity of spirit that His Cheesiness has evidently attained.
Funny, though. Nowhere in the litany of self-flagellation and pathos does Erasmus ever ask for the forgiveness of the candidates that he has dragged over the mud in his efforts to satisfy his political masters. Remember when he and his little cheezes criticized Yolanda Begum one everything from her accent to the way she wore her makeup? Her sin? She was running against the Erin Hernandez/Norma Hernandez/Ernie Hernandez political machine and Erasmo was getting paid to do the political hatchet jobs on their opponents.
And how about the nasty campaign they waged against DA Luis Saenz by rehashing the old charges of infidelity and womanizing that most decent folks had let lie until they resurrected them in their support of eventual losing candidate Carlos Masso?
Nowhere in this pious oration for love and the Golden Rule is there any hint of repentance for having deceived countless people seeking their services as notary publics only to find out later that the applications for citizenship or residency were turned down – and the money they gave the Castros lost – because they missed important deadlines, filled out the wrong ones, or never did the work to begin with?
It's easy to be contrite when it doesn't cost you anything, merely words.
But what about those people who were deliberately targeted by the Cheezmeh group merely because they did not think the same way, endorse the "right" candidate as dictated by Erasmo, or were seen as enemies of the cult?
What made the Head Cheez have a sudden change in heart and attitude reflected in the posts two days apart? Did he, like Paul, see the light on the road to Damascus? Or is it to the road to the May city elections? It couldn't be because it is election time and he realizes that you can attract more flies with honey that you can with vinegar?