We are still trying to ascertain the facts behind this story, but as some prosecutors say, the "signature" surrounding this lead is certainly characteristic of the paternal (or is it maternal in this case?) nature of the majority on the Brownsville City Commission.
The latest we've heard is that Commissioner Rose Gowen has succeeded in passing city regulation that forbids the sale of fattening hot dogs and vein-clogging greasy burgers.You know the fare. You stand in a long line behind a motley collection of your obese fellow city residents to get a crack at some mustard and ketchup drenched hot dogs made of pig and chicken innards enveloped in a bun made from bleached flour and artificial chemicals and colors. Ditto with the burgers. God only knows what''s in those. Ground sirloin streak we're sure it's not. Whether it's the sinewy of nervous cows or what's left on the slaughterhouse floor mixed in with some colorful chemical or tofu to make it appear edible, we line up in droves to get at the stuff.
And surrounded by a milling crowd, the smell of popcorn and a hefty dose of syrupy malt passing off as a fountain drink, it hits the spot, doesn't it?
It's delicious, or, as my kids say, yummy for our tummy.
Well, all good things apparently – like grocery store plastic bags and smoke-filled bars – must come to an end.
City sources say that stadium goers can scratch the hot dogs and the burgers next time they attend a function there. Seems like Gowen and her friends at healthy communities don't think we less health-conscious fools should be allowed to choose our poison.
We're still looking for the documentation on this one, but we're sure it's there. We're going to down a dog and a coke and continue looking.
If it's true, I'm afraid that I'm going to be pressured by my kids to vote for Roberto Uresti against Auntie Gowen in the at-large seat in the upcoming city election. Banning hot dogs from stadiums is simply UnAmerican, B'God! It makes my cholesterol boil.
Burp!
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